I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
