I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
