Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
