i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize