The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize