If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize