So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
