Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
