no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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