yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
