don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
