bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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