I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
