there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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