Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
