epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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