Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
