I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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