they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
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at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
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I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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