I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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