i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
