I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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