What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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