ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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