You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize