My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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