It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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