I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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