I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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