Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
