So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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