Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
