community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
