CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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