My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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