i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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