Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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