I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
