we have pet lesbian snakes
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
