at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
