He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
