is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I forget how to act sober
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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