I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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