we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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