dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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