he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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