My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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