I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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