I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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