We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
