i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
