how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
