There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
