he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
