omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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