Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
