Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
