my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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