Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
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I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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