He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
