conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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