Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
