my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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