They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
