also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
