only if we run a train.
done.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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