I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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