i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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