i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
