Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize